Tips by School Psychologists for Navigating Transitions: How to Support Your Teen Through Life’s Big Changes
Adolescence is tricky. We all know it's a time of change and development. Teens are developing emotionally and mentally while navigating various transitions:
Starting high school/college
Evolving social groups
Perhaps moving city
Perhaps dealing with shifts in family dynamics
These common experiences can be overwhelming to teens who are also going through emotional and physical transitions.
Your role as a parent is to provide support. You need to help them manage the stress and anxiety that can be unfortunate partners alongside life’s big changes.
But how do you offer this support? Finding the right balance is a challenge.
We’ll explore the psychological impacts these transitions can have on teens. We’ll then share some practical strategies for supporting them. We’ll also highlight resources available to families to ensure that your teen receives the support they need.
Understanding Common Transitions for Teens: Let’s just categorize some of the common transitions that teens have to negotiate.
Academic Transitions
One of the most significant transitions for teens is progressing to a different school - middle school, high school, or even college. These changes come with potentially intimidating consequences:
Increased academic pressures
New social environments
The need for greater independence
Adjusting to a new school system can be daunting. It’s typical for teens to feel overwhelmed as they navigate a new space and their next educational steps.
Social Transitions
Adolescence is a time of evolving friendships and relationships. They may experience shifts in their social circles as they grow. These shifts can be troublesome as they can lead to feelings of isolation or the challenge of fitting in with new groups.
Social transitions, seen through the teen’s eyes as uncertainty, can be detrimental to their self-esteem and sense of belonging.
And don’t just restrict this to thoughts of the classroom environment. There are also out-of-school clubs or potentially a part-time workplace for older teens. Whenever teens join new social groups, these scenarios can be fraught with tension.
Family Changes
Family dynamics play a crucial role in a teen’s life. We can’t deny that our lives are messy. Think of the commonality of these events in a family:
Divorce
Remarriage
The arrival of new siblings
The loss of a family member
These events can profoundly affect a teen’s emotional wellbeing as they drastically change the dynamics within a household. These transitions may bring about feelings of uncertainty or loss, requiring additional support from parents.
Physical and Emotional Changes
Underpinning all of the above are the physical and emotional changes associated with puberty.
These changes add another layer of complexity to a teen’s life:
Body image issues
Hormonal changes
The development of a more complex emotional life
These natural transitions are necessary components of growing up, but for some teens they can be challenging to deal with on their own. When these changes coincide with other transitions, this can amplify the stress teens may feel.
The Psychological Impact of These Transitions
Life changes can always affect our psychological wellbeing, and this is true at any point in our lives. Consider the stress and anxiety associated with changing jobs or dealing with loss. The stress of moving to a new place or dealing with a worrying illness. These are part of the human experience and always present challenges to our wellbeing.
Teens are especially vulnerable to this as they find their way in the world and as they deal with hormonal changes.
Stress and Anxiety
The uncertainty of new situations, alongside the pressure to adapt, can make transitions particularly challenging. Parents must recognize that these feelings are normal while being mindful of when stress becomes unmanageable.
Identity and Self-Esteem
Transitions can be periods of intense self-reflection for teens. Changes in their environment or social status can lead to questioning who they are and where they fit in, which can impact their self-esteem.
Nowadays, teens also contend with social media and its associated pressures. We’ve all seen the latest commentary on how it can often be a tool that amplifies perceived weaknesses or vulnerabilities. Check out our specific advice related to mental health and social media.
Behavioural Changes
You might notice changes in your teen’s behaviour during changes. You may notice:
Your teen becoming withdrawn
You may see mood swings
They might show a lack of interest in activities they once enjoyed
These behavioural changes can be distressing for you as a parent. Yet, it’s important not to become frustrated with your teen. These behaviours can be signs that your teen is struggling to cope with the changes they’re experiencing. See them in this light instead of any perceived slight against you.
Strategies for Supporting Your Teen
Let’s focus on some steps you can take to support your teen. These can help you guard against some of the psychological impacts outlined above.
Open Communication
Support your teen during transitions with open communication.
Try to create a safe space where your teen feels comfortable expressing their thoughts and emotions. It’s key that they can do so without fear of judgment. Try to check in regularly to stay connected and see how your teen is feeling. Even if they don’t always share, it’s vital to give them opportunities to share what they might be struggling with.
It’s common to ridicule ‘grumpy’ teenagers unwilling to engage. We’ve all seen the overused trope in movies of the teenager who eye rolls at the lameness of their parents. The trope of the lazy teen who refuses to come out of their room.
We know that it can be challenging to encourage teens to open up about their feelings.
The key here is balance. Ensure that teens know the offer is there - this is what we mean by creating a safe space - without pushing or forcing your teen to open up. More often than not, they’ll reach out at a time that’s right for them.
Empathy and Understanding
Let them know that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and that you are there to support them through these changes.
The worst thing you as a parent can do if your teen is feeling anxious or stressed is to dismiss their feelings. And, please note, dismissal can even be something as seemingly banal as offering a simple solution or rationalizing the problem away. While you think this may be helpful, it can often come off as trivializing their feelings.
Instead, validate their feelings. This means meeting them where they are at and showing that you understand how they are feeling.
And remember, it is important that you as a parent model how to express emotions and communicate with empathy.
Providing Stability
Maintaining stability at home can provide a sense of security for your teen. Keep routines consistent as much as possible, and be a reliable source of comfort and support. A stable home environment can help your teen feel grounded when other aspects of their life are in flux.
Of course, it’s not always easy as you juggle other life commitments. Still, even a consistent meal time or a regular chat at a specific time each day can serve as an ongoing foundation for your relationship. These occurrences provide something your teen can rely on as they experience change.
Encouraging Resilience
Support your teen’s efforts to face challenges head-on and remind them that setbacks are a natural part of growth. This will equip your teen with the resilience to handle future transitions more effectively.
Think like a teacher and consider each encounter with challenging change as a ‘teachable moment.’ What would you want your teen to carry from this experience into their next life event? The understanding that hardships can be overcome, that further challenges will arise, and that change and evolution can be positive. Emphasize the importance of relying on those around them for support during difficult times.
Continuing with the teaching metaphor, each successfully negotiated transition builds a scaffold for your teen. Over time, this scaffold becomes strong enough for them to stand on their own as they emerge as competent, well-adjusted adults.
Resources for Families
Canadian families have access to a wealth of resources to support their teens:
Mental health support—Organizations like the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA), and Kids Help Phone offer invaluable resources for teens struggling with mental health. These services provide counselling and support tailored to young people's needs with specific guidance on handling transitions. Strong Minds- Strong Kids www.strongmindsstrongkids.org offers resources to help build resilience.
School resources—Local school boards often offer guidance and resources to help students adjust to new academic environments. Check out the School Mental Health Ontario site for Ontario-specific guidance. School psychologists are also available to provide support in schools.
Community support - Local community programs and support groups offer further support for teens and their families. These programs often focus on specific transitions. For example, you’ll find specific groups for academic issues or groups specializing in dealing with divorce. They can be a great way for teens to connect with others going through similar experiences. Browse this list of Ontario-based teen groups compiled by Psychology Today.
When to Seek Professional Help
Well-placed parental support will hopefully be sufficient to guide your teens through these transitions. But there are times when we’d advise professional help.
If your teen is showing signs of prolonged stress, anxiety or depression, it may be time to seek professional help. While these three are different, there are general signs:
Changes in behaviour - withdrawal, irritability, or a significant drop in academic performance
Fatigue
Difficulty sleeping
Drastic changes in appetite
Difficulty concentrating
Some unexplained physical aches and pains
All of these can indicate that your teen is struggling more than they can handle alone.
Finding a therapist or psychologist with experience in adolescent psychology can be beneficial if your teen needs specialized support to deal with these symptoms. Spend time in your search; it’s vital to find somebody who is a good fit for your teen’s needs and personality.
Summing Up
As a parent, your role in providing support and encouragement is vital in helping your teen navigate change. As much as they may like to think otherwise, they are children. As such, they need your help as a guiding hand.
Remember also that while transitions can be difficult, they also offer opportunities for growth and resilience. Their adolescence flies by, and they’ll need these emotional learning experiences to become independent as an adult.
The Ontario Psychologists Association (OPA) is here to help if you’re looking for extra help or resources to help your teen through life’s transitions. The OPA provides a wealth of information on mental health and wellness, including guidance on how to support your teen through challenging times. You can also use our tool to find a qualified psychologist in your area.
Whether you need advice or professional counselling, the OPA is committed to helping you and your teen navigate life’s challenges with confidence.