How to Prepare Your Child for Therapy: Tips for Parents
Beginning therapy can be a pivotal and positive decision for your child and your family.
Yet, we know the idea of starting therapy can feel unfamiliar or even intimidating - for both children and their parents.
For parents in Ontario and elsewhere in Canada, know that supporting your child before a first therapy session is crucial. Approaching therapy as a positive step, a safe space to explore and grow, will help children feel comfortable and open to the process.
This guide offers some tips to help parents prepare their child for therapy in a way that feels natural and supportive. The aim is to skillfully prime them, not to balloon therapy into something daunting that requires extensive preparation.
And, fundamentally, remember that therapy is a positive step for your child. They can begin to develop coping skills and a toolbox of strategies to help them deal with issues they are facing.
Frame Therapy as a Positive Experience
The first step for you is to discuss going to therapy. We must introduce the idea of therapy positively and explain the purpose of the experience.
Explain to them that therapy is a safe, supportive place where they can share their thoughts and feelings with somebody they can trust. Emphasize that psychologists are there to help people of all ages better understand their emotions and navigate difficult situations.
A few specific pointers here:
Use age-appropriate language to explain what therapy is and why it can be helpful. For example, for a younger child:
"Therapy is a special time where you can talk to a friendly person who helps kids understand their feelings. They’re there to listen and help you figure out what makes you happy, sad, or even a bit angry. They will also help you to start doing things that can make you feel better”
Highlight that therapy is a place where they can feel better about any challenges they are facing.
Reassure that there isn’t anything wrong with them. They are not going to therapy for a ‘fix’ or because they are being “punished”. It is a way to help them feel understood and supported.
Choose Age-Appropriate Explanations
We covered this briefly above, but it’s worth dwelling on a bit further.
A young child will likely not understand complex concepts about mental health and emotional well-being. So, it’s important to keep your explanations simple and comforting.
However, for older children and teenagers, you can be a bit more detailed. Depending on your child’s maturity level, discussing how therapy typically works - and the broader goals -might be appealing to your school-aged child or teen.
Matching your explanation to your child’s level of understanding will help them feel more at ease as they go into a first session. This is when you’ll need to use your parent’s intuition to gauge the right level of explanation.
General tips for age groups:
Young children (4-7 years) - Use simple phrases like “talking time” or “feelings doctor” to describe the therapist.
School-Aged Children (8-12 years) - Explain that the therapist is someone who helps people by letting them speak and really listening to them. The therapist helps people think about and work through their feelings.
Teenagers (13+) - Be open about what therapy entails, allowing them to ask questions. Address any concerns they may have honestly and openly. Teens might also come to you and ask to go to therapy. Should this happen, you want to be open and facilitate finding them help. This will allow them to experience validation for their feelings and that they are not alone in managing their difficult emotions.
Encourage Openness Without Pressure
Therapy can feel like a great unknown, even for adults going for the first time. For children, they may worry about what might be expected of them. Describe therapy as a space where they are free to talk about anything they want to. Yet, at the same time, there is no pressure to share things until they feel comfortable.
There are no ‘right’ answers to a therapist’s questions, and they’ll never force them to speak about something they don’t want to.
Removing this pressure can lift a burden from a child’s shoulders.
Let your child know that the therapist’s role is to listen and understand them first and foremost.
Here are a few do’s and don’ts to help drive this message home:
Do: Emphasize that therapy is a safe space where there’s no right or wrong way to feel.
Don’t: Pressure them to “open up” or share details right away; let them go at their own pace.
Do: Let them know it’s okay to ask the therapist questions or take breaks if they feel uncomfortable.
Do: Explain that therapy is something that helps over time, and that it’s an ongoing process.
Don’t: Force a child to attend a therapy session against their will.
Normalizing Therapy
Building on this openness reduces any stigma or fear your child may have about going to therapy. Share that many people, including children and adults, benefit from therapy. Also share that it’s normal to feel a little nervous. Doing something new can always be stressful, so it’s important to validate that emotion.
But, here’s the critical message: let them know that seeing a therapist doesn’t mean something is wrong. Instead, frame it as meaning they’re taking steps to feel at their best.
Extra tips for normalizing therapy:
Speak about therapy as a normal part of our care routines. It’s no different to going to see a doctor for a check-up or visiting a dentist to check on your teeth. It’s useful to frame therapy as something other than a special experience. Building it up in this way will likely feed into any fears of therapy.
If appropriate, you can share examples of family or friends who have gone to therapy and found it helpful. This shows that they aren’t the only ones going to therapy while also reassuring them that it can be a positive experience. Of course, if you have gone to therapy, that is a very powerful story to share with your child.
You may also consider going to therapy yourself to join your child on a therapeutic journey.
Help Your Child Prepare Logistically
Removing unknown elements is always a helpful strategy for reducing anxious thoughts and feelings. To combat any lingering fears, you can focus on the logistics of the session to prepare your child.
Talk about what the session might look like. This can include where they’ll go, how long the session will last, and the kind of things they might talk about.
If the session is virtual, explain that you’ll be there to help them set up (if necessary).
If you are unsure about the answers to these questions, don’t hesitate to contact the psychologist. They can provide some useful info about their approach and what your child can expect. Many therapists even conduct a short call with your child to reassure them before the first session. They are skilled at assuaging any pre-session jitters and uncertainties.
Do’s and Don’ts
Do: Let your child know where the therapy will take place and who will be there.
Don’t: Overwhelm them with too many details—keep it simple and reassuring.
Do: Encourage them to bring a comfort item (like a favorite toy or notebook) if it helps them feel more at ease.
Don’t: Worry too much if they feel unsure about therapy at first; new experiences can take time to adjust to.
Emphasize the Confidentiality of Therapy
Explain that therapy is also a private space.
For some kids, the idea of sharing personal thoughts, especially with a stranger, can feel intimidating. Reassure them that therapy is private. Their therapist won’t share details about what they discuss with anybody else without their permission.
With this in mind, explain that they can talk about anything they want without judgment. They don’t even need to tell you, as a parent, what they talk about.
This confidentiality, or the idea of a "protected' conversation if that helps, is a key part of therapy.
Do’s and Don’ts:
Do: Emphasize that therapy is a private place where they can speak freely.
Don’t: Promise that everything is confidential (if there are safety concerns, the psychologist may need to share).
Do: Let them know they can always talk to you about therapy if they want but don’t have to.
Don’t: Push for details about what they discussed—respect their privacy.
Prepare Yourself as a Parent
Of course, a parent’s first thought is always going to be for their child and their concerns. Yet, it’s also helpful to look inward and prepare yourself as a parent for the journey of therapy.
The fact your child is going to therapy may bring up your own emotions and questions. It’s important to have realistic expectations.
Be prepared to offer support without needing to know every detail of your child’s sessions. Trusting the process and being patient with their progress can make a significant difference in their therapeutic journey.
Do’s and Don’ts:
Do: Be open to learning and adjusting based on feedback from your child’s therapist.
Don’t: Expect immediate changes—therapy is a process that takes time.
Do: Offer a listening ear and be available when your child wants to share.
Don’t: Overanalyze or try to “fix” their experiences in therapy; focus on supporting them.
Final Thoughts
Preparing your child for therapy is all about laying the groundwork for a successful journey. Never lose sight of the idea that therapy will support their emotional growth and resilience.
Lay this foundation for your child to remove any anxiety, fear, or uncertainty they may be experiencing. Then, have the patience to demonstrate encouragement throughout the therapeutic process. By approaching therapy with openness and positivity, you’re giving your child the tools to feel safe and comfortable.
If you’re looking for more ways to support your child’s mental well-being, the Ontario Psychological Association (OPA) offers resources for families across Ontario. You can find other insights on child therapy as well as other guides for navigating mental health care.
We can also help you find a psychologist near you.
Browse our blog to learn more about how OPA can support your family’s journey toward mental wellness.