Navigating narcissism: How to manage the narcissistic personalities in your life
If you’ve been near any media channels recently, you have likely heard the term “narcissist” or “narcissism” mentioned, often in reference to someone who’s acting egotistically. And like other clinical words—such as “depressed”, “OCD” or “addicted”—the frequent use of the term “narcissist” has resulted in a loss of accuracy.
So, what actually is narcissism? And what are some strategies for navigating relationships with the narcissists who may be in your life.
What is narcissism?
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition in which individuals outwardly demonstrate an increased sense of self-importance. However, this is often driven by extreme inward insecurity or low self-esteem. This may appear as though narcissists often have a thirst for constant admiration and appreciation, or want to be the centre of attention. This condition may cause an individual to inadvertently ignore the needs and feelings of other people.
Narcissism is measured on a spectrum. Those with narcissistic personality disorder are at the high end of the spectrum, those with narcissistic traits are at the low end. How do you identify an individual who might be struggling with narcissistic personality traits? Here are some indicators you may be dealing with an individual with NPD:
- Act with an unreasonably high sense of self-importance
- Act as if they deserve special treatment
- Want to be perceived as more superior than others
- Preoccupied with ideas of success, power or the “perfect” partner
- Difficulty accepting criticism
- Be critical of those they “deem” less important
- Ask for special privileges and favours
- Demonstrate seemingly manipulative behaviour
- An inability or unwillingness to demonstrate empathy
- Be envious of others
- Behave in a way that seems full of themselves or arrogant
- Ask for the best of everything
It’s important to note that from time to time, most people will demonstrate some of these signs and symptoms. But while everyone may show narcissistic behavior, someone with NPD is more likely to appear to show disregard for the thoughts and feelings of others, as well as show a disregard for how their behavior impacts other people.
What are the types of narcissism?
Like many mental health conditions and personality disorders, NPD is not one-size-fits-all. No two individuals are the same. Let’s uncover five types of narcissism an individual may display:
Overt—or Grandiose—Narcissism: This form of narcissism is what many people often think of when they hear the term. An “overt narcissist” may show obvious signs, including (but not limited to) desire for praise and admiration, inflated sense of self-importance, lack of empathy and attention seeking behavior.
Covert—or Vulnerable—Narcissism: This type of narcissist is often appears highly self-involved and is hungry for admiration but may talk negatively about themselves to gain praise and reassurance from others. “Covert narcissists” may also play the role of the “victim” or blame others for their mistakes.
Communal Narcissism: A “communal narcissist” may express unauthentic concern for others in an attempt to elevate their own self-importance. These individuals may be sensitive to unfair circumstances and may perceive themselves as altruistic and generous.
Antagonistic Narcissism: Studies have suggested there may be a subtype of overt narcissism called “antagonistic narcissism.” These people may be argumentative, highly competitive, take advantage of others, and/or show an unwillingness to trust other people.
Malignant Narcissism: This is the most severe type of narcissism. These individuals may display the signs of “overt narcissism”, along with an inability to handle criticism, and they may project a vindictive nature and paranoia.
I think there’s someone who displays narcissistic tendencies in my life. What can I do?
Dealing with an individual who has narcissistic traits can be difficult and tiring. It can be a struggle to be confident and at ease in your workplace or home, and hard on your mental health. The first step is understanding their narcissistic behaviour and, from there, develop effective coping strategies for handling their actions.
Here are some tips for navigating your relationship with a person who demonstrates narcissistic characteristics while maintaining your mental wellbeing:
Although it may be difficult, don’t take their behaviour personally. People with NPD can’t help how they behave. Just remember, their actions are about them, not about you.
Set and follow through with boundaries. Establishing boundaries doesn’t change the other person’s behaviour, but sets a limit on what you will and will not tolerate.
Understand and keep an eye out for gaslighting. Watch out for behaviour that may attempt to manipulate or cause you to doubt yourself.
Maintain a healthy self-esteem. An individual who has narcissistic traits may undermine you to build themselves up. You may be likely to see this behaviour in the workplace. Keeping an assertive attitude and strong sense of self-worth may help you when dealing with harmful behaviour.
Lastly, don’t be shy about finding the support you need to manage narcissistic personalities in your life. Working with a licensed psychologist may be helpful, as they can support you as you learn to set effective boundaries, boost your self-confidence and stand up for yourself. Additionally, they can help you make sense of your experiences and cope accordingly.
If you need help navigating individuals who demonstrate narcissistic traits, visit askforhelptoday.ca to find a practitioner near you.